There are always times in our life when our dating prospects are somewhat dim. For some reason it always seems to be right after we get out of a long relationship or lose someone special to us. Basically, whenever we’re our most vulnerable. The ironic reasons for that aside, those are the times when we have to be the most careful about how we react to being lonely. Many times we tend to go for the “rebound relationship” to help take our minds off of our loneliness, but that can sometimes make you feel even worse or put you in a situation that you don’t really want to be in. The true to key to feeling better is to make your next relationship be the one that works by not make the same mistakes again.

When you settle for less in relationships, you’ll always get it. Sure, there are no perfect people out there and waiting for one just means you’ll be waiting a long time. But once you’ve gotten yourself into a particular dating pattern that isn’t working, you have to recognize that and make a change. Otherwise, you’re continuously settling for less since you are just repeating the same cycle. For different results, you need to think differently than you have before. The inherent need to have someone next to you should come second to making sure it’s the right person.

There are those out there that just want someone in their life, regardless of whether or not they think that person will be there long term. This is a dangerous way of thinking because emotions and feelings can get hurt, or at the very least confused, and actually cause more drama in our lives. Plus, even if you just have a “temporary” someone in your life, it still takes up some of your time. That’s time that you could be using to better yourself, get control of your own dreams, or possibly be meeting your special someone. Relationships are hard work, and they’re usually not worth all the trouble unless you’re serious about them.

Another part of the equation that makes it difficult to resist settling for someone is that you’re surrounded by couples. It’s hard to be single when all of your friends have someone in their lives. It puts pressure on you in a lot of ways, but mostly just because it’s in your face all the time. It’s hard to even just go out and have fun when everyone else is with their partner and you’re not. There are ways around it though. Make special time with your friends where maybe it’s just the girls (or guys). Or even just go somewhere where everybody can get into the fun and not necessarily just hang out with the person they came with. At a club it’s a lot more likely that couples will be around each other all night. But in a more relaxed social setting (like a lounge), it’s more likely that everyone can interact together and have a good time.

Overall it’s important that you recognize the trying time in your life for what it is…just a temporary time. Don’t use it as an excuse to follow the same relationship patterns, use it as a reason to change and improve how you approach relationships altogether. That way you can turn a negative situation into an ultimately positive outcome. The strength you show now will help you later when you finally do meet that special someone, and allow you to build a meaningful lasting relationship with them. Falling back into the same traps and routines will only postpone your growth and your eventual happiness that much longer.

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