Alright, so you’ve given your number to a guy after (what you thought) was a great night, only to still be waiting for his call days later. What gives? Men are notorious for not calling, leaving women to wonder what why thought it would be different this time, and what they could possibly be thinking. Why don’t guys call? Here are 5 possible reasons:
He doesn’t want to seem desperate
When men really like someone, the last thing they want to do is screw it up. They start to over-analyze everything, including when the right time to call is. There’s the 3 day rule that says they shouldn’t call for…well…3 days. Then there’s the thought that men shouldn’t call the woman at all, and should just wait until she calls him. There’s no doubt that he’s getting advice, and not always good advice mind you, from his friends. So there’s a good chance that he’s not calling so that he can (in his mind) think he’s seeming very cool and aloof and that it will make you want him even more.
If this is the reason he’s not calling, just be patient. Over time this should go away if there is a mutual connection.
He is nervous
Another reason is that he’s simply too nervous to talk to you. If guys know that they’ll be reduced to a stuttering idiot on the phone with you, then they probably just won’t call. This could be the case with real shy guys as they would rather not talk to you (even though they like you) then call and make a complete fool of themselves. Like Mark Twain said, “Better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt”.
If being nervous is the reason he’s not calling, it can be frustrating. While you may be able to get passed the initial issue, the question will be whether his personality will be a match for yours. Some guys are initially shy and nervous but grow out of it with people as they get to know each other. Other guys remain that way and it can turn off some girls. Hopefully him being nervous is just the reason he’s not calling, and not something bigger.
He’s just out with the boys
Male bonding is a strange thing. Guys can get together, hang out, and time literally flies. Sometimes when he said he “just lost track of time”, it’s the truth. Whether it’s playing sports (or video game sports), joking around watching TV, or hanging out at the bar…guys can go hours concentrating on the most random things. Don’t always jump to conclusions that he’s lying to you, or that he’s not calling on purpose. He might totally oblivious and just preoccupied with his animal instinct of bonding with his buddies.
Hanging out with the boys is ok, and as a reason for not calling you it’s nothing to worry about. The only time you should be concerned is if he’s been hanging out with the boys more and more and neglecting you. But as an initial reason to not call you immediately, no big deal.
He doesn’t want to lead you on
Have you ever thought that maybe his situation just isn’t what it seemed? Guys may not call you because they don’t want to lead you on or have something to hide. If a guy knows that you are looking for something serious, and they’re not…maybe he just doesn’t call to make it easy on himself (wouldn’t be the first time someone did that). Guys aren’t always the best at communicating, especially when it comes to having to let someone down. It’s an inherent male characteristic to always want to bring good news! There could also be more to the story. Maybe that great guy you happened to meet already has a girlfriend…or even worse…a wife.
In this situation, it’s best to just let it go. If not wanting to lead you on is the reason he’s not calling, you’re probably better off moving on and not thinking too much about it. Over time if the situation changes and he liked you, he’ll find a way to let you know.
He’s just not that into you
The least likable reason a guy may not be calling is just that he’s not that in to you. If there was a mutual spark there, then you have to think that you’ll talk to them in some capacity. If not, then maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Women do it to men all the time, even sometimes when they give the guy their number! He calls, leaves a message, and they never call him back. Have you ever done that? Why? Probably because you didn’t really like him that much. Guys react the same way. It’s easier to just not call than it is to tell someone that you’re not interested. Nobody wants to hurt the other’s feelings, but it’s unfortunate that it leads to confusion for the other person.
When guys don’t call, it can be extremely frustrating and irritating. You finally hit it off with someone, decide to give them your number, and…nothing. Hopefully he’s just a shy one, or out acting out with his guy friends. Whatever it is, hopefully you’ll get that call soon. If so, make sure to show him you’re worth it. If not, there’s always the next one!
For more guidance, watch the video below:
Michael Fiore is a relationship coach and best-selling author who has been featured on major media shows such as the Rachel Ray Show. His video 3 Steps to Make a Man Love You is a popular introduction to the insights he has gained through meeting his own special someone.
Check it out to see if it can help you in your situation. The video can be found at 3 Steps To Make A Man Love You.