When playing the dating game it’s normal to wonder where your relationship is headed and when to take it to that “next level.” For me, that “next level” always meant being completely committed to each other and contemplating things like moving in together and/or marriage. It’s when you get away from considering them someone your “dating” to someone that you’re thinking about spending your life with. There’s a lot of gray area there, so your situation may not be as black and white as that. However, a lot of the same principles apply regardless of what you consider being the next level of your relationship. How do you know that you’re ready? How do you know that the person you’re with is someone you should invest that much time, effort, and emotion into? Hopefully you’ll know some of these questions already by being able to truly know their personality and character, but there are also some other things you can think about as a general guide.
A lot of times when relationships don’t work out they way we expect them to, it’s due to our own impatience. When it comes to dating and possible love we tend to get over-excited about things, and make the person we’ve met more than we really know they are. Emotion is a powerful thing, and the more you struggle with love and dating, the more you’ll cling on to hope that “this is the one.” While having hope is great, we have to be able to temper our excitement because it can open us up for disappointment otherwise. When trying to decide whether or not to take a new step in your relationship consider the amount of time you’ve been together. There’s no definite rule or requirement as to how long you need to be together, but you have be able to honestly say you’ve been together to really get to know that person for who they are. There will always be things that you don’t know (as that’s one reason to take that next step), but you want to at least be comfortable in knowing that they’re a quality person and that you have a lot in common.
Another factor should be the willingness for both of you to be around each other much more often. This is especially true if you’re planning on living together. Living with someone is another challenge that has little to do with the fact that you’re in a relationship. Sharing space with someone new (no matter how much you love them) is an adjustment. You have to realize that the privacy you used to have will be all but gone and you are committing not only to that person in a relationship, but also in a living situation. It’s sounds great until you’ve been there for a while. All of a sudden your partner isn’t the ray of sunshine in your dreary days, they become part of that routine too. It’s a big step and you have to make sure you’re ready for that part of it.
Lastly, make sure that you both have a good discussion about what you’re both really looking for, and that you both have the same opinions on the future of your relationship. Making sure that you’re both on the same page is a key to building your relationship, and it is absolutely necessary to do before you decide to progress. Make sure you’re both wanting the same thing and are taking this step seriously. The last thing you want to do is feel like you’re taking that next step, only to find out your partner is still in the old mindset. Setting expectations is a big part of life in general, but relationships especially. Moving forward in a relationship is a special time that you should both enjoy for what it is. There will be challenges along the way, but it should hopefully help you grow closer together until you finally feel like a true couple.
