Single men and women both complain about how there’s not any “good ones” left. We’ve explored why women have a hard time trying to meet great men, but what’s so hard about trying to meet great women? Good guys have to sift through bad dating experiences just like good women do. Isn’t that what makes it even more special when a good guy and a good girl find each other? Maybe, but moral victories are a little hard to swallow. So why is it so hard for a good guy to find a great woman? The simple answer…all of the guys before him.

One of the reasons going up to a woman to introduce yourself is so hard is that she knows nothing about you. If you’re lucky enough to look like her “dream guy” then maybe it’s easy for you. Otherwise, you almost immediately get lumped into the same category as the last 20 guys that went up to her while she’s trying to have fun with her friends. See how this can be tricky? Our normal social settings where we meet people (ie, bar, club, party) aren’t necessarily conducive to sparking meaningful conversations. For women, it’s like getting bombarded on a constant basis. By the time the third or fourth guy leaves, she’s not even listening to all the rest.

So how can you change this? First of all, be different. The problem with all the guys before you is that they’re cookie cutter men who wear the same kind of clothes, talk about the same boring stuff, and are so impressed with themselves that women wonder why they even came up to talk to them in the first place. It’s not about the car you drive or how much your jeans cost. No one cares. Well, some women might care, but those aren’t the great women you’re looking for anyway. Be confident in yourself, but not in a way that makes you talk about yourself in an arrogant tone. Be confident in a way that lets allow a woman some space. In a way that makes you interact and listen to her friends, and care about what they say. Be funny and relaxed, not obnoxious. Don’t take yourself so seriously, be able to laugh at yourself. Be the calming factor in an otherwise hectic atmosphere. It’s something that makes you stand out from the crowd to where she’ll have to look at you with fresh eyes.

As you can see, a big part of meeting great women is really about talking to them. You’ve probably already been meeting great women, you just haven’t broken down their barriers to really know it yet. Human beings naturally put up psychological barriers to protect themselves, and that holds especially true when it comes to matters of the opposite sex. The key to seeing who they really are (and give yourself a fighting chance), is to let them see who you really by not being afraid to be yourself. Lose the game and separate yourself from all the others that have tried before you.