More and more nowadays you see people in relationships that have a pretty big difference in age between them. Depending on your point of view you may think it should be frowned upon, or you might think it’s not really a big deal. Not only is there a moral question regarding large age gaps when it comes to dating, but what about the potential relationship issues it can bring about? Some say that being with someone in a different age group can bring a lot of spark into your social life. But do these relationships actually work long term?
The first question to consider is how big of an age gap there is. What do you consider a big age gap? 5 years? 20 years? Again, it will be all about your perspective. One thing that is pretty obvious is that the older you get, the less it usually becomes an issue. For example, an 18 year old dating a 13 year old is obviously a big deal (not to mention illegal) and something that just about everyone would agree is not acceptable. But what about a 30 year old and a 25 year old? Most would think that’s normal, but the age gap is the same? For this reason there is a lot of gray area when it comes to age gaps in relationships. Basically, everyone can find an argument to help justify their relationship if they look hard enough.
For practical purposes, there are some things you should consider if you’re thinking about a relationship where there’s a big gap in age. First off, if the age gap is large enough to put you in two different generations, there could be some major issues you have to deal with in your relationship. There are vast differences in experiences and perspective that can be tied to our generation. The sociological differences can be major since a lot of these behaviors are so innate that we don’t even really notice them until there’s conflict with someone from a different generation. If your age gap isn’t quite as large, there are still a lot of questions that you should ask yourself regarding the compatibility of your personalities. For instance, if one of you is past the point of going out and partying and the other isn’t, the chance of the relationship really lasting very long are slim. When couples with big age gaps get together for strictly physical, monetary, or generally shallow reasons, they are setting themselves up for sure failure. This is true of any relationship regardless of age, but especially true if there are age gaps to deal with as well.
As you can see, it’s really less about your age, and more about your personality and interests. If you both have similar wants and needs out of life, and are both in a similar place in your maturity and development, then your age may not be a factor to you. Couples should also realize that if there is an age gap, there will be a lot of other issues they will have to deal with that are out of their control. People may look, stare, and probably talk behind your back about it. Are you strong enough in your commitment to withstand that? If so, then maybe you have what it takes to make it. If not, maybe it’s time to reevaluate what you’re doing in your relationship.
