We all have a friend that seems to meet someone new and constantly tell you how great they are. How they had so much in common and how they just might have found “the one” they could spend the rest of their lives with. Or maybe it’s not even one of your friends, maybe it’s you! It’s human nature to get excited about a new love interest, especially when living the single life gets to be a little lonely. Sometimes that loneliness makes us see things that we want to see instead of seeing things as they are.
When you get overly excited about a first date (or just meeting someone new in general), you do two things that end up being negative to yourself in the long run. First, you tend to convince yourself that the person is better than they really are. When it comes to love, rarely do we think completely clearly anyway but it’s especially true when we’re trying to make someone into that special person we’ve been waiting for all along. We tend to justify the reasons why we like them so much and even act like the things they do, that we used to dislike in others, are things that make them adorable. This behavior can even reach the point to where the person could be doing things that could potentially hurt us (ie drugs, alcohol, physical abuse), but we consider looking passed it because we’re so caught up in our desire for them. Being lonely can change us in some drastic ways. Does this sound familiar? We all have done it at some point in our lives.
The second thing that you do when you get too excited about a new love interest is that you potentially turn them off…big time. No one likes a clingy person that wants to do every little thing with you. Also, no one wants to be around someone that only talks about how much they like you, how much they care about you, and how much they can’t believe how great you are. Sure, it sounds good for the first day or so…matter of fact at that point it’s kind of cute. But if it continues on all the time, it just gets creepy. A person that seems needy and desperate isn’t very attractive, and you really just end up digging yourself a bigger hole. You end up trying so hard to keep that person that you drive them away. It’s something that happens every day (and consequently is depicted in a hilarious way in Good Luck Chuck).
The key when meeting any new love interest is to just relax and take it for what it is…just a first date. It’s normal to be a little excited about the possibilities ahead, but don’t ruin it by planning out your whole future with that person. Most of the fun lies in the journey, not necessarily the destination. The only real way to build a relationship is to get to know each other at a normal pace. Don’t weigh each other down with unrealistic expectations. Part of being single and dating is about having fun. If all you’re doing is jumping from date to date talking about how unbelievable they are, you are selling yourself short. Take some time to find the true value (or lack thereof) in the people that you meet, and they will in turn find the value in you. When that happens, then it’s really time to get excited!
