After all the planning, worrying about first impressions, and dealing with awkward silences, at some point you’ll finally get to your main date destination. There are varying opinions on the importance of where you choose to have your date. There’s no doubt that it’s important to choose a quality place, but how important? The real answer is that it’s very important, but I think most people are missing the point. There are no hard and fast rules as to what places are great for dates or not great for dates, but you want to ensure that you pick the right type of place. So what does this mean? It means that it doesn’t matter if it’s an upscale place that costs a lot of money or a hole-in-the-wall place that you grew up with. The key is in the ability for your destination to facilitate a connection between the two of you.

In order to truly connect with someone on a first date, I think it’s imperative that you actually get to know each other. That should be rule number one. This is the reason I’m so fascinated with our reliance on a movie as a first date option. I think a movie is a horrible first date destination because you’re almost guaranteed to not get to know much about that person at all. For 2 to 3 hours of your date you’re not really going to be talking to each other, or even looking at each other. Movies are great for couples that already have that comfort with each other, your job is to create that comfort on a first date. Finding somewhere to interact can be tricky though. It’s natural for us to think that clubs or bars are fun places to go as well, since that’s what we’re used to living the single life. But the last thing you want to do is waste your date in places where it’s hard to hear each other, and hard to truly learn the little subtleties about your personalities and where they may click.

So what are some good places to go on a first date? I think it’s always good to go somewhere that allows you to be somewhat active and have enough privacy to talk to each other. Activities like miniature golf, bowling, and carnival games can be fun for people of all ages. They provide an atmosphere that is easy to talk and get to know each other, as well as an activity that you both can focus on if the date has some awkward moments in it. They also allow for a playful atmosphere where you can be (somewhat) competitive with each other and have some fun with it. Even if you’re not especially good at the activity, it doesn’t really matter. In some cases that will even work in your favor since it shows that you’re not afraid to “let your guard down” and be bad at something. Believe it or not, letting your date be superior in something can be an admirable trait. It shows that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

The main course is one of the most important parts of your date. Whenever someone asks your date what they did, it will be the first thing they mention. Make sure you make it something fun that also allows you both to connect and get to know each other. One of the basic principles of relationships is that people enjoying being with those that they have fun with. Too many times we get caught up with trying to make some kind of statement by choosing to go to the fanciest places in our areas. Those places aren’t always a lot of fun though, and it means that you’re missing out on possibly the best part of your first date. Choose a place where you both can let your guards down and enjoy each other’s company. If you do, there’s a good chance that it will be something you both remember for a long time.