The first part of the perfect date actually happens before the actual date even begins. Being able to ask people out effectively is an art onto itself and something that we’ll have to explore in a later series, but does it actually affect the success of your date? The short answer is yes, it can. People naturally judge others on just about everything, but usually at this stage of the game you have a little more leeway. What this gives you a perfect opportunity to get a “head start” on your perfect date. By mastering the anticipation portion, you can instantly set yourself apart and have your date anxiously waiting for your time together.
If you’re not naturally very smooth when it comes to asking someone out, don’t worry about it too much. The good thing is that people know that it can be a nerve-racking experience, and they most likely won’t hold it against you. If anything they will be flattered that you were a little nervous approaching them. It shows that you have a real interest in them and the outcome of the conversation. Basically, if they say “yes” no matter how bad you were, it’s a success. The most important step of the perfect date is making sure you even have one! You will have more than enough chances to redeem yourself in all of the other subsequent parts, so just being able to make it through this part is the key.
Once you have a date in hand, the real strategy can begin. The most important aspect of a perfect date is to have an atmosphere that allows both people to be comfortable enough to be themselves (at least partly). The reason for this is that the more you actually know about each other, the stronger the bond you’ll make. Alternatively, if you’re just not a right fit you’ll know right away which is probably best for both of you. Depending on how well you know your date already, this may not be much of an issue. But even if you’re already friends, going on a date can be an awkward step. So what can you do to alleviate some of the pressure?
Make it a point to ease the tension before the date actually begins. Call your date the day before and confirm that you’re still on, and at the time you first agreed to. Next, ask them a question regarding some options for the date. For instance, ask them if they prefer Italian or Mexican food, then choose the place based on what they say. The key here is to be prepared for either answer and make sure give them a choice between two options you’ve already narrowed it down to. This shows that you’ve thought about it and are taking charge of the date, but that you want their opinion also to make sure it’s going to work for both of you. This also allows your date an opportunity to recommend a place that they really enjoy, thus getting them involved in the date planning and making them more comfortable already. This is a great way to get both of you excited about the date and feel like you both have a vested interest in making in go well. Plus, since you’ve already broken the ice over the phone, it should make the rest of your conversations easier. However, do not call them repeatedly before your date! It’s weird and will end your chance of a good date before it even starts.
The key to the anticipation stage is to get rid of any possible awkwardness that comes with going on a first date with someone. By lightening the mood the day before, you take a lot of the initial pressure off and give the inkling that it might actually be a lot of fun. Don’t worry about being nervous because everyone is (including your date). But by showing them that you’re interested in doing something they’ll enjoy, you’ve already set a good example for yourself. At the very least you’re considerate, and that’s a good thing to be. Plus, the fact that you can call them and be halfway normal the day before will change their anticipation from a somewhat awkward one to a excited one. Your dates should be fun and easy-going, so do what you can to set that tone early.
