Ah yes, the age old question that women across the country think about when they meet that “perfect” guy. I have never really believed that there is a set behavioral pattern that works for everyone. There are people that had sex the first second they met each other and ended up together for the rest of their lives. On the other hand, there are others that did and it was no more than a one night stand. There is no magic blueprint that works for everyone, so you have to trust your instincts and intuition when making these types of decisions.

Generally, I think most of the time you don’t want to put out on the first date for many reasons. First of all, it’s hard to know the quality of guy you’re going out with since you probably don’t know each other very well at that point. Having sex on the first night will probably keep some pretty sleazy guys attracted at least for a little while for the physical part alone. That’s not exactly the type of relationship you want probably, and not the type of guys you want to really keep around. Consequently if the guy is a really nice guy looking for a quality girl, he might be put off by it and not want to go any further with you thinking that you may be having sex on every first date.

The problem with saying that you shouldn’t do it as a rule is that you really should never say never. For some the date goes perfect, the mood is just right, and the chemistry you have between each other just takes you there. Some of the most passionate and special moments in our lives can be found in those spontaneous experiences that we never expect. You don’t want to just discount that all together and say that you’ll never do that under any circumstances. You have to be careful though, sometimes our mind will justify something as that once-in-a-lifetime experience just so that we don’t feel guilty about it. If it really is that special night, go with it. If it’s not, don’t try to tell yourself that it is. You should be able to tell the difference.

So what should you do on a first date? Like the discussion on sex, it can be very subjective. I’m a firm believer that a kiss (or even just a kiss on the cheek) let’s a guy know that you’re interested in him and want to go out again. A simple thank you and hug is appropriate for those that you really didn’t have much spark with. There’s a big difference between those two possible endings that it’s pretty easy for a guy to understand. You don’t need to go further or have sex to show someone that you like them, no matter what they say to you. Treat yourself with respect and you’re more likely to be treated with respect in return.