There are times in our life when we get ourselves caught in the middle of a love triangle. Relationships can be so difficult sometimes, and especially when our social scene resolves so much around intermingling with the opposite sex. It’s very easy to be casually dating and start progressing with two different people. So what should you do? Well it depends on who you are in the triangle. The key point to remember is that love triangles rarely end up with happy endings for all three people. In some cases, it ends with all three being unhappy. Tread lightly and remember these tips.
If you are the one dating two different people
1 – Make a decision
The first thing you need to do is make a decision on which one you like best and want to be with. Unless both people are okay with being strung along and just casually dating, a choice has to be made. The longer it drags out, the harder it will be since feelings continue to progress in the meantime. The stronger the feelings get over time, the more complex the situation gets.
2 – Cut it off completely with the other person
Once you do make a decision, stick to it. Lingering around that other person or hanging out occasionally not only makes it more likely for something to spark up again, but probably wouldn’t sit very well with the person that you did choose. Don’t cheat by continuing to spend time with both people, it only stretches out your problems even longer.
3 – Take it seriously
The reason that a love triangle is so dangerous is that it’s people’s feelings and emotions at stake. If you want to just casually date different people then don’t get into a relationship in the first place, much less two. Make your intentions known to those you are dating so that there’s no confusion, and it might be possible to sustain a casual dating lifestyle for a while. In the end though, even if you state your intentions clearly, there’s no guarantee that feelings won’t start to come about anyway.
If you are one of the two dating options
1 – Analyze your happiness
Dating triangles are hard to deal with. Is this person really special enough to go through this for? Even if you do get chosen, will you always think about it in the back of your mind? Is that worth it? Relationships can be hard to deal with, but stacking additional issues on top of the normal things we go through can be too much sometimes. Make sure your feelings for this person are truly genuine and worth pursuing, otherwise you could put yourself through a lot of pain for nothing.
2 – Look for a sign of commitment
Don’t just take the other person’s word that you’re the one they want. They could just as easily be saying that to the other person too. Look for certain signs that you are indeed the chosen one. Do they spend time with you on holidays? What about on their birthday? These are the major moments that we usually have the people we are closest with around us. If you’re not there on those days, maybe you’re not the chosen one after all.
3 – Don’t think it’s now or never
The last thing you should do is think that this is your ultimate chance for love. Whether you are the chosen person or not, take the situation for what it is…the possible start of a relationship. The true hard part is yet to come, as their no guarantee of success when it comes to relationships. All that you are doing now is deciding on who’s going to have that relationship.
Love triangles are stressful on everybody involved, and it’s a lot to deal with. You really have to be sure that the person you’re waiting for is the person you’re supposed to be with in order to make it worth it. It rarely ever is. The best advice actually may be just to back off and let time take it’s course. You might be surprised at who else you find along the way, and how much better it is without the drama in your life.
February 2nd, 2009 at 9:02 am
Im stuck in a really weird love triangle….like two at one time though…. two of my guy friends like me and i liek them both but one of them use to like my gal friend but she wasnt ready for him so then me and her went out and then she broke up with me cause she wants him but he know wasnt the both of us and i want the both of them. and we’re one group of friends i told them i think i should leave the group cause i started all this drama but no one wants me to leave the group cause we all want to stay friends
what do i do???
February 9th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
I’m pretty dead sure that I’m on the losing tip.
No one knows about this love triangle.
Because I’m good at keeping things inside.
But my best friend and my crush (Of three years.) are rather close.
I just want to make it out, sane, and still the smiley person I am.
December 1st, 2009 at 5:23 pm
I have been dating a girl for a few months now. It’s been very intense, we have seen each other just about everyday since we met. She hasn’t dated a guy since high school. She has been seeing a girl for about three months longer than we have. I just don’t know how to deal with this shit. I’m totally falling in love with her, and just don’t know how much longer I can deal with this. It’s hard to believe I even let myself get into this situation.
January 31st, 2010 at 1:43 am
So I’m in a love triangle yet to be but its very complicated. The one I’m with now is awesome we have so much in common and we have known each other for a long time, but the other guy is so understanding and even when i did some thing horrible he still loves me and i love him but dont know what to do.
February 6th, 2010 at 3:27 pm
Im in two different triangles.
First Triangle
I like one girl and she kinda likes me but she’s one of those girls that attracts lots of boys.
Im honest with her and she says she isnt trying anything with anyone else. Yet there is always a thought, from me, that she has got someone else but doesnt want to upset me until its definite.
Second triangle
Then there is my ex who dumped me. She, after two months of not talking, has now said she loves me and really wishes she didnt break up with me. My feelings towards my ex have drifted of late but only due to the absence of talking.
The other girl is the girl i like in the first story.
March 16th, 2010 at 1:46 pm
I’m in a very confusing situation. I have 7 years relationship with guy1 and about to get wed this year, but I never met his parents. I just met guy2 this January and felt like were meant to be together because I dont feel anything anymore for my guy1 but pity. The 1st guy is well established and soon well have a house of our own. The guy2 is still a student, no clear directions yet. But I really like the 2nd guy, well maybe because hes new and he makes me laugh all the time. I really don’t know what to do right now, should I still to guy1 and not really happy, or guy2 who makes me happy but still a student?
March 22nd, 2010 at 6:28 pm
I am in the middle of a love triangle, being one of two girls that a guy got involved with. I literally feel like it has taken over my life and I sometimes wonder if it is worth all this heartache, when I am living every day on an emotional rollercoaster…
The guy met the first girl whilst travelling – they spent 10 amazing days together and fell for each other very quickly. But a week after leaving her to continue his travels, he met me and we quite simply “clicked”. I was studying on an exchange program in the city and he came to visit a friend for a few weeks. At the time I did vaguely know about the other girl but I assumed it was just a holiday romance and wasn’t too bothered. But it started to unfold that he had fallen in love with this other girl, but then he also apperaed to fall for me too. At this point I probably should have run a mile, but alas, I had already fallen for him badly and by all accounts I had already realised that he could actually be my “perfect” guy… sigh.
So after a few weeks he left for home in Europe, but we have stayed in contact ever since. He told the other girl about me, but they have stayed in contact too. So we are stuck in this ridiculous love triangle because he cannot make a decision either way. Both me and the other girl return to Europe in May and then he will be able to see both of us again and hopefully come to some decision on who to “choose” so-to-speak. I can hear most of you screaming “you idiot” even as I type this, and believe me I have often thought about just walking away as hard as that would be. But I just can’t get this guy out of my head. We talk for hours on the phone and we get on SO well, it just feels so natural. If I walk away I will never know whether he could have been my perfect guy after all, and I will only end up living to regret it. But the longer this gets dragged on the more emotional I get thinking about him saying all the same things to the other girl too. But I feel trapped and don’t see a way out. Either way I may get hurt. But is it worth the risk? At the moment I still think so… maybe in a few months I will kick myself for being a fool, we’ll see…
May 3rd, 2010 at 11:12 am
I was in a love triangle with this girl that already had a bf the dude was being extremeley immature and messed up to her in other words fucked up he was such an asshole she found me then we got the connection we clicked immidiatley we were almost about to start a relationship then I was an idiot and started hanging out wih another chick then I hurt the girl that I was going to have a relationship she was hurt we were blunt to eah other for a while then she crawled back at her bf and they got back together. Then the chick I was hangin out with fucked me over then I did the same thing I recognized my mistake and I crawled back at the other girl that crawled back to her bf and I couldn’t help it I told her I love her I really do so the other dude was being an asshole again with her so we got back together we started a relationship then after 5 or 6 months the guilt was hurtin her so she had to le go of one of us se unfortuanely she let me go cus the most fcked up shit ever is that the other dude doesn’t even know of my existance and now we re bestfriends me and her I’m hurt inside but I’m not showing her cus I’m affraid to lose her as afriend I still love her more than my own self as crazy and obsessive that it sounds I mean it cus we know each other for a long time and everyday I wish I can be with her but if I tell her she’s gonna stop talking to me cus she claims thaw she’s hurting me and she doesn’t wanna hurt me. And the fact that she went back to her other bf pisses me off and makes me sad and depressed cus I’m not trying to be conceited but I’m better than the other guy she even admits it but the fact that he’s an asshole she doesn’t wanna leave him so idk why girls like assholes and always the sweetboys like me have to beleft alone like loners. She already had a future planned with him before she met me then when me and her got together we started a future but is now gone and I don’t want no other girls or nobody in life cus I’ve been thru alot with other chicks that I never got to be wih or call them my gf cus I never had one and this girl is so perfect everything that she has all her feautures physically and mentaly emotionally are perfect I will never find someone like her no more so if I don’t get to be with her I’m done with love for good.
June 21st, 2010 at 3:36 am
In my recent experience, and only, might i add a situation occured placing me unwillingly in a love triangle. He and she were on a break he made that clear…. we hung tight for 6months christmas new years my birthday; we had an open relationship in which may have been the problem in the first place… I take the approach of not wanting to hold any human being back from experiencing what they choose, so things were really nice feelings of love moments of truth and deep intimacy; i feel in love and it felt amazing because it felt mutual… at some point throughout all the feelings and expressions of love he got back with her (mother of his son) prior to this happening he told me they were “on a break” I said If that has potential at any point during us being together to “let me know, and i’ll move on” Later things got weird… some telling incidents occured and proved, to me that he wanted to be in this with me “to see what this can blossom into” his words; he went into the history thing of their relationship ect but made it clear that he has feeling for me and that he loves me… I havn’t been to his house in over a year, he yousto call me every day just to check in so to speak.. I began to play allof, to protect my self from the tornado that was to come…he kept calling… I accepted the role of mistress as I was loving this man deeply at this point. He told her about me well let me re phrase that “she found out after an incident of my own fault.. I guess the problem here is that i didn’t listen to the “on a break” part, I fell for him… and some how became number two in the midst of it all… My issue with him is that he did not honor the agreement. the agreement being that I was to be informed when and if there is a posibility of reuniting with her. not trying to be a home wrecker or caught in baby mother drama! I am taking a victim stance for the moment; Trust, i’ll get over it. but i’m feeling the triangle of the situation. a year goes bye and he is openly with both of us. I left the situstion a bit broken but sure taht this was not what i signed up for. After making that clear to him; he kept calling. more recently, almost two years have past and mor recently, In a matter of two weeks I received 2 phone calls!! from her!! she claims him as her man… I dont expect her to to empathize with me. the other day after receiving the call as he sat next to me acting as though the problem was between she and I I realized that this man is not on the same page as I, I told him that I was done, done being the other women women to other women and his number 1.. what has been telling at this point is his lack of reseprosity, dignity and communication, and, my own acceptance of this type of involvement eats me up inside, just allowing myself to take such a spot makes me feel quite tiny. Big bruise on the ego. I have been in limbo as far as relationships go I am a lil tainted to begin, and for that reason have been playing with different possibilities why I stayed so long in this decindegrating connection with this man. The only solution to regain my sense of self was to kick this man out of my house and tell him ” dont call anymore i’m done” The saddest hardest thing within these last few weeks after having done so is, the realization that it was that easy. I box my mind and ask where have I been.. then I realize its the blind sidedness of my own lust for being number 1, it had me playing within the gray areas of my own true desires. getting clear is my destination at this point; in hopes to be more black and white with love to begin with as apose to a nieve foolish lover to a man who sits on the fence. There is nothing wrong with having your cake and eating it to, in my opinion that is the only way to go, however, you must stick to the agreements made in the beginning on both our parts we failed to do so we fell for oneanother and once you fall… well, there is something to be said for that. yet, if there is too much “grey area” after two years…. accept the loving intimacy that was shared gather them up in thoughts word and deed allowing it to manifest into a smile a grace and a truth that you have the capicity to love foolishly to look at your self throghout it all and analize your motives and intentions then as beautifully as you said hello perhaps you can say good bye… movement will grow within you and propel you onto a new reality allowing you to attract what it is you truely desire.
Bless-
why run from something that is not here “illusion”
September 14th, 2010 at 1:54 am
Im stuck in a rather wierd triangle at the moment. My ex bf still loves em and I still love him (for 3 years) but I also still love my ex gf and she still loves me aswell (t was through a wierd circumstance that we broke up)I told both I love them and they both know about the other and my ex bf is starting to fight with her. Please help x
September 23rd, 2010 at 10:33 am
I am in one right now with myself (a guy) and my cousin(another guy) and a girl. The situation itself I find very complex. So work with this girl and I started liking her, all the while having a girlfriend already. I made her aware of the fact that I had a girlfriend but still invited her to come to my house to chill. She came on several occassions, we flirted but did not do anything beyond that. One day as she came to my house she saw my cousin and told me that she thought he was good looking. So, being a nice guy what I did was tell him and also told him to go after her, as I was already in a relationship. Throughout their relationship I saw signs that she was feeling for me too, and we would continue to flirt but that was it. I then started noticing signs of disinterest from my cousin but wouldnt approach him due to the fact that he tends to take things too personally. So I kept it from him. Then they broke up, and then they made up. Then they broke up and then they made up. Through all these break ups I was always informed by the girl, not my cousin. Also, In continued noticing signs of disinterest. So as a result in their last break up, I invited her to my place for old time sake. So we hung out, but this was not taken lightly by my cousin, who lives with me and had to witness(although nothing happened between me and her). Am I at fault??
February 6th, 2011 at 2:04 am
I’ve been in a love triangle recently, it’s hard. Especially when you’re not the one chosen. If you are the person trying to deal with two people, think about what you’re doing, and how much it could hurt the one you don’t choose. And please, for their sanity, don’t try to hold on to them after you’ve chosen one.It will do more damage than good. If you are one of the two, step back and try to find it in yourself if the person you’re fighting for is really worth fighting for. Try to stay out of love triangles because they always end up in pain, for one or all parties. Whether they show it or not. Please think about what you’re doing, before it’s too late
February 28th, 2011 at 4:52 pm
My Love Tri-angle has got me really down. Im so mad at myself for i caused all this mess. I was with a man for 5 years, we have children, and i thought this was my life forever until one day a blast from the past showed up (my 1st love) and we started an affair. After a month I couldnt cope with it all so i was truthfull and told my partner. He begged and pleaded that we could get past it, but for some reason i found it easier to hurt him and i ended it. A few months down the line he has admitted he wants me back and although i didnt mean for this to happen Im back in that Love triangle again. I have 2 men.. 1 the father of my children the other my first love. I cant choose, i keep putting it off and hope that one day i will wake and its all gone away. Were all getting hurt. But im so scared of making the wrong choice and have no body to talk to
April 11th, 2011 at 4:38 am
I used to like a guy and he liked me, but nothing happened because I was with someone. But now that I’m single I like him again, but my ex has changed and makes it evident that he loves me. Problem is, my old flame has died to little embers. Should I try and add fuel to the fire? Or should I go with my ex since I know I can be happy risk-free?
May 3rd, 2011 at 7:28 pm
I like my boyfriend’s bestfriend
he likes me back but my best friend likes him
and my boyfriend loves me but then theres his best friend..
May 24th, 2011 at 12:33 pm
I have a guy friend who has been my best friend for 8 years, we do everything together and at one point sparks did fly. The next thing I know it’s been almost a year since our first kiss, he is telling me he loves me, i’m constantly over at his house, he meeting my parents and vice versa. A wonderful relationship was in the making until he bumped into a girl at work- they are now together- and in the whole honeymoon phase (they’ve only been dating for a month) but he still comes over to my house, takes me out to dinner, cuddles with me, tells me he loves me and misses me when i am not around and that he wouldn’t know what to do without a best friend like me. I admit, I am jealous. I feel like this random stranger took something of mine and I have no idea how to get it back. The pain and agony set in when I met her for the first time because he wanted me to approve of her since I was his best friend. The constant displays of PDA between those two were unbearable. I genuinely love this man more than anything in the world and sometimes think, if I love him so much i should be putting his happiness and needs before my own, so i should just walk away from it completely and cut my losses, but the only thing stopping me is that fact we have been friends for 8 years. I don’t want to ruin such a steady and happy friendship over some girl that is more than likely temporary with the knowledge he’d come right back to me., but I am not the one to wait. She makes him happy, and no matter how much the thought “it should be me” will scream and cry in the back of my head, I can’t take that kinda of happiness and giddiness he has when he is with her. I can’t bring myself to ruin that for him. So i feel like I have no choice but to walk away and cut my losses.
if you love something let it go and if it comes back to you then it was meant to be…that phrase is still a valid one, right?
July 10th, 2011 at 1:59 am
I was involved in a love triangle twice in 10 years. Both times the ex boyfriend came back into the picture after we had fallen in love and even started talking starting a family. They both ended with me being the one burnt even after i tried to let them do the right thing and not issue an ultimatum. They both played out so identically right down to the small details. I will never again let that happen. First sign shes thinking about another guy and ill dump her so fast her head will spin.
July 21st, 2011 at 11:23 pm
I know this is two years too late, but still wanted to leave a comment. It’s a weird love triangle I’m in. My closest guy friend *whom I’ve known for the past 6 years* just recently confessed his feelings for me. Fortunately, I had loved him for a long time too so the affection was reciprocated. We’ve been “official” *sorta* for almost a week. Now here’s the weird part. There’s a guy I met about a month ago, nice Italian guy *btw, my boy is a devilishly handsome Asian, meow!*. I guess I bewitched him *haha* because he’s totally enamored by me. He texts often and tries to get my attention alot. I want to tell him to not do it frequently because I love someone else. So you see, it’s a love triangle with me being the subject of two people’s affection. Ahhhh, felt good to voice that. ;3
October 29th, 2011 at 4:23 pm
I need advice. I myself am in a love triangle but I’m one of the dating options. I knew he liked me since last year because his sister and I were such good friends. I never acted on the situation because I didn’t know him then.I finally told his sister I liked him on my birthday this year and after that we started texting. He became my best friend.We talk almost everyday.We both have the same goofy personality and like joking around. We have fun whenever we are around each other.Even though he has a girlfriend, he has been wit me a couple times in public.The only problem is that he has a girlfriend. They were dating before we started texting but not since last year when he started to like me.His sister dislikes his girlfriend and wants her brother and I to be together. Sometimes I feel as though I’m wasting my time because I’m starting to catch more feelings for him then before. I always thought he just considered us friends until it came up in a conversation and he said I thought we were “talking” ?(high school slang that means more then friends but not boyfriend and girlfriend) What do I do ?