I’ve been close with this guy for a really long time, and we are really great together. I do a lot for him like cooking him dinner sometimes and even washing his clothes, but we’ve never really taken our relationship to the next level. I’ve asked him about it in the past and he always says that he’s not ready to be more than friends and that he doesn’t want to ruin our friendship. Why doesn’t he like me?
Unfortunately, I think you’re caught up in a situation where your friend might be taking advantage of your attraction to him. While being too good of friends is a common reason that women won’t go out with guys, it’s less common among men. If a man likes you and you’ve already shown an interest in him, he’ll act on it. At the very least he will give some inclination that he wants to be more than just friends. In your situation it sounds like a guy that may not really be into you and could just be using you for all the nice perks you’re offering him. If he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship then he should get off his butt and wash his own clothes.
It’s common for us to find our “soulmate” in friends when we’re lonely or struggling in our love life. We naturally have such strong bonds with our friends, and the fact that they know most everything about you is comforting. We trick ourselves into believing that no one will ever understand us like they do and that they’re the “perfect” person for you. Here’s a reality check: if they don’t like and appreciate you for who you are on a dating level then they’re not the “perfect” person for you. We sometimes get so wrapped up in our opinion of them that we sometimes disregard their opinion of us. The fact is, it’s just as (if not more) important. Love is a two-way street filled with mutual attraction and admiration. It’s not one person cooking for another even though he just wants to be friends. It might be time to move on from thinking he’s the one for you, and see what else might be out there. You can’t change how a person feels, and while it might make you sad in this instance, it will be what makes finding that great person even more special.
My advice to you would be to go out and have a good time without your guy friend. Part of the reason we fall into bad dating cycles is because we’re lacking variety and excitement in our lives. Meeting new people is fun even if you don’t want to date any of them. The key is getting out there and exposing yourself to new things. Love rarely shows up when you’re looking for it. But if you’re just out there having fun, you never know who might be out there waiting their whole life for you to come along.
