My friend was previously cheated on in a serious relationship and is finally starting to date again. When I see his new interest, I’m friendly to make her feel welcome, but he takes it as more than that. I’m not trying to do anything bad, but his jealousy is straining our friendship. What should I do?
It’s never easy to deal with situations like this. The first thing I would do is give it some time. Being that your friend is coming off a serious relationship where they were cheated on, they’re going to have a lot of insecurity and jealousy issues especially at first. Trust only comes with time, and when you’ve already been cheated on in a relationship it takes much longer. Try to be as understanding to their situation as you possibly can be, and hopefully over time it will go away on it’s own. As much as you want your friend back, they’re dealing with a sensitive situation and a true friend will recognize that.
No matter how good of a friend you are, don’t let your friend make you feel bad about something that you’re not doing. Let them know that you’re just trying to support them without any bad intentions, and tell them that regardless of how they feel that you’ll be there for them, but don’t let them treat you badly just because they’re going through an emotional time. People have a tendency to take advantage of those that try to be sensitive to their issues, so don’t let your friend milk your sympathy as an excuse to treat you a certain way.
One of the main things to remember is that there can be various varieties of jealousy. There are some that have a bad experience in a previous relationship, go through a tough time of being really jealous, and then eventually get over it. There are others that are just naturally jealous, which could have caused the problems in their previous relationships, and their current jealousy is just a continuation of the same cycle. You need to understand which one your friend is to truly know how to react. If it is a continuous cycle with them, there is a much bigger issue at hand which really has nothing to do with you. Be as understanding as you can, continue to be yourself, and let time do it’s job.
