The topic of sex in a relationship can be a touchy one. Many couples choose not to talk about it very often, and even worse, many young people are misinformed about sex and the possible dangers it can have to them. We live in a much more sexual society than we ever have, and we see it plastered all over billboards, TV, movies, and just about anything else that is marketed to us. So how do we know when is the right time to have sex in a relationship? While there are no hard and fast rules (as we’ve discussed in previous articles), there are some common things to think about that can affect everyone. Your own body and mind should tell you if you’re ready or not, regardless of when that is, but there a few reasons that waiting just to make sure can be a very good idea.
1 – STDs are more common now than ever before
The truth is, this isn’t the 60′s anymore. The era of “free love” is long gone and there are sexually transmitted diseases everywhere now. CNN did an article stating that 1 in 4 teen girls has an STD! That’s an enormous number, basically saying that young men having sex have a 25% chance of sleeping with someone with an STD at that young of an age. That is just a mind-blowing statistic. Sex is fun and it feels good, but is it worth your health? Possibly your life? Waiting to have sex with a partner that you know and care about could be a better option, especially if you both get tested before deciding to be together.
2 – Pregnancy is a big step
Teen pregnancy is also on the rise, and more and more young girls are finding out the hard way that being a mother is not easy. Bringing another life into this world is not a small feat, but even harder is taking care of it and raising it. When children have to be parents themselves, it’s hard on everyone. Before you decide to do something for fun, think about the adult situations it could get you into. Reality is a hard teacher, so be as safe as you can be.
3 – Maintaining your image
Image in the grand scheme of things may not be that important, but in relationships they can really have an impact. If you’re out there being promiscuous, your reputation could follow you. What this means is that you could have a harder time attracting quality partners because everybody thinks they have a chance to sleep with you. You would be surprised at the amount of creeps that would try to waste your time. A lot of times our society is built on image, and the image you give out will define you. Respect yourself, and people will respect you. Otherwise, you might find yourself stuck in a rut with a bunch of losers wondering why you can’t find a good one.
4 – Growing up too fast
I know many young people can’t wait to grow up. It’s the perfect irony…you wait your whole life to be grown, then once you’re grown you wish you were young again. Sex is an adult activity, and if you’re not sure that you’re ready to take on that responsibility then you consider waiting.
5 – Building your relationship
Sex is definitely an important part of a relationship, but it’s not necessarily what you want to base and build your relationship off of. Deciding to wait a little bit to have sex can allow you and your partner to get to know each other much better. By doing that, you can see if your connection is merely physical or something much deeper. Relationships are hard enough, don’t complicate them by confusing lust for love.
Sex is something that should be fun, special, and enjoyable. We all make questionable decisions when we’re young (or inexperienced), but you don’t want to get caught in a situation where a questionable decision is something that you can’t come back from. Sex is more dangerous than ever, and we need to be prepared both mentally (with knowledge and understanding) and physically (with discipline and restraint) to be able to handle the pressures that we may feel. If you know in your heart that it’s the right time, be safe and go for it. If you’re not sure, don’t ever let anyone pressure you into giving in. Otherwise, it may be a decision you regret for the rest of your life.
