Home Dating Advice Dating Advice for Women

Alright, so you’ve given your number to a guy after (what you thought) was a great night, only to still be waiting for his call days later. What gives? Men are notorious for not calling, leaving women to wonder what why thought it would be different this time, and what they could possibly be thinking. Why don’t guys call? Here are 5 possible reasons:

He doesn’t want to seem desperate

When men really like someone, the last thing they want to do is screw it up. They start to over-analyze everything, including when the right time to call is. There’s the 3 day rule that says they shouldn’t call for…well…3 days. Then there’s the thought that men shouldn’t call the woman at all, and should just wait until she calls him. There’s no doubt that he’s getting advice, and not always good advice mind you, from his friends. So there’s a good chance that he’s not calling so that he can (in his mind) think he’s seeming very cool and aloof and that it will make you want him even more.

He is nervous

Another reason is that he’s simply too nervous to talk to you. If guys know that they’ll be reduced to a stuttering idiot on the phone with you, then they probably just won’t call. This could be the case with real shy guys as they would rather not talk to you (even though they like you) then call and make a complete fool of themselves. Like Mark Twain said, “Better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt”.

He’s just out with the boys

Male bonding is a strange thing. Guys can get together, hang out, and time literally flies. Sometimes when he said he “just lost track of time”, it’s the truth. Whether it’s playing sports (or video game sports), joking around watching TV, or hanging out at the bar…guys can go hours concentrating on the most random things. Don’t always jump to conclusions that he’s lying to you, or that he’s not calling on purpose. He might totally oblivious and just preoccupied with his animal instinct of bonding with his buddies.

He doesn’t want to lead you on

Have you ever thought that maybe his situation just isn’t what it seemed? Guys may not call you because they don’t want to lead you on or have something to hide. If a guy knows that you are looking for something serious, and they’re not…maybe he just doesn’t call to make it easy on himself (wouldn’t be the first time someone did that). Guys aren’t always the best at communicating, especially when it comes to having to let someone down. It’s an inherent male characteristic to always want to bring good news! There could also be more to the story. Maybe that great guy you happened to meet already has a girlfriend…or even worse…a wife.

He’s not really that in to you

The least likable reason a guy may not be calling is just that he’s not that in to you. If there was a mutual spark there, then you have to think that you’ll talk to them in some capacity. If not, then maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Women do it to men all the time, even sometimes when they give the guy their number! He calls, leaves a message, and they never call him back. Have you ever done that? Why? Probably because you didn’t really like him that much. Guys react the same way. It’s easier to just not call than it is to tell someone that you’re not interested. Nobody wants to hurt the other’s feelings, but it’s unfortunate that it leads to confusion for the other person.

When guys don’t call, it can be extremely frustrating and irritating. You finally hit it off with someone, decide to give them your number, and…nothing. Hopefully he’s just a shy one, or out acting out with his guy friends. Whatever it is, hopefully you’ll get that call soon. If so, make sure to show him you’re worth it. If not, there’s always the next one!

Check out our follow up article 5 more reasons that guys don’t call.

6 replies to this post
  1. stumbled across this while cheating on family feud. anyways, most of it is way off. you give way too much credit to how we feel about something. we don’t do that. our boners do, but our brains don’t. if a guy doesn’t call you, he doesn’t like you.

  2. I met a great guy and thought we hit it off very well. He kissed me and I didn’t hear from him for a while, but every time we get together we have a blast. However, he won’t call and ask me out – I run into him at different meetings. I really like this guy, but just don’t understand why he won’t get together with me more often or call me. And he is moving in a few months, and even though I know I will end up with a broken heart because I really like this guy a lot, and I know I shouldn’t keep going to these meetings, but his face just lights up when he sees me and so does mine.

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