The Amber Cole story has garnered an enormous amount of attention all over the internet.  Whether it’s people wanting to “cyber bully” the girl on social media outlets, people sticking up for her and trying to justify the actions, or journalists using it as a springboard for their own commentary on how our society isn’t what it used to be, the Amber Cole story has been a polarizing event. We live in an age of instant gratification, viral social media, and omnipresent connection to the internet.  Is it really that our society is so much worse than it was? Or is it just that we’re hearing about these things more frequently and more vividly than ever before? The truth most likely lies somewhere in the middle. Here’s 10 lessons to be learned from the Amber Cole story.

1 – The internet allows people to judge freely without consequence

When the Amber Cole story broke, almost instantly people expressed their concern, outrage, or indifference to it. The most surprising thing was how many people were so quick to judge and almost instantly turned that judgment to hateful outbursts of cyber bullying.  There’s no doubt that the internet has allowed a lot of people to hide behind their computers and say things they would never have the nerve to say to someone in person.  We’re slowly becoming a society that judges others on ideals, yet fail to hold ourselves to those same standards.

2 – Beware teenage emotion

Teenagers make dumb decisions, it’s just a fact of life. That age group is often the most dangerous because there’s a lot going on for a young mind to have to deal with. Puberty is in full swing with all the hormones and emotional changes that come with it.  There are a lot of new pressures to deal with at school and other social outlets. Lastly, you’re finally at an age where you are beginning to feel independent but usually not mature enough to distinguish between wants and needs.  There are reasons that teenagers do these types of things, and either feel that it’s okay, or believe they don’t have a choice. Those emotional factors play a big role in all of the decisions they make.

3 – We all know an Amber Cole

I have seen so many people claim that they are “appalled” and “shocked” at the Amber Cole story. Please, let’s be real. We all know an Amber Cole, at the very least we did when we were in high school.  There were always stories or things that we saw happened at that time  in our lives.  The difference is that we didn’t have cameras capable of taking video and social media allowing us to instantly upload it for the world to see.  Sure, young folks out there today are exposed to more things then ever, but it’s a combination of individual circumstance and societal technology shifts that make what you used to just hear about as a school rumor become a viral video that makes national news.

4 – If your ex asks you to perform a crazy stunt to win them back, move on

Shouldn’t this be self-explanatory? The truth is that this is not only a teenage problem. There are adult men and women out there that are going through similar situations. If you are trying diligently to get back with your ex and they’re asking you to do crazy stunts to prove how much you love them, all it means is that they don’t have any respect for you. Relationships are a two-way street, if your ex is trying to use your dedication as leverage to make you do things you don’t want to do it’s not a relationship.  It’s someone exploiting and manipulating you for their own personal enjoyment.  Know when it’s time to move on and do what you need to get over the them.

5 – Put things in perspective

In this day and age of shock journalism and daily over-reaction, we need to keep things in perspective. The things that Amber Cole did and had to go through were bad, no doubt. But they need to be taken as an opportunity to learn from our mistakes and make better decisions in the future. In her case, she’s a 14 year old girl with her whole life ahead of her. Rumors of suicide watches and all that just shouldn’t happen. We tend to overreact and put too much emphasis on what is happening today.  Life is a marathon, and we need to take each stumble during the race in stride. Remember what you did wrong so it doesn’t happen again, and keep going.