First dates are nerve racking. We have all been through it, and the stress associated with dating and trying to make a good impression on a person that may very well be a total stranger can totally throw you off. First impressions definitely count, and can really make the difference between getting another date, or getting the cold shoulder. The problem that most people have when thinking of first date ideas is that they make it too complicated. Sticking to basics will serve you well. Think about it, what do you really want to accomplish with a first date? Hopefully your answer has something to do with getting to know one another. It’s not just about making a good first impression, you always want to see if the two of you are even compatible. Here are some tips to remember as you plan your first date.

1. Skip the movie. We all know going to the movies is usually the most common date idea. Don’t get me wrong, sharing a fun evening at the movies is a great date…for couples that already know each other. On a first date you want to make sure you have a chance to talk and get to know each other. Not exactly possible in a movie, is it?

2. Don’t go all out. Think you need to spend a lot of money to impress on your first date? Think again. While taking your date out to a fancy night on the town can be special, it makes the wrong first impression. Don’t make your first date about how much money you can spend, make it about getting to know each other.

3. Don’t get drunk. This should really be common sense. You don’t want your the first impression your date has of you being your ability (or inability) to handle your liquor. I know a lot of people like to have a drink or two to calm themselves down on a first date, and that’s alright. Just don’t get carried away.

4. Go back to basics. Play mini-golf. Go to a carnival. Try to win a stuffed animal. These types of things may sound cheesy or stupid, but they are things that everyone likes, regardless of if they would admit it or not. Sometimes the smallest, simplest thing can leave the most lasting impression. 20 years from now you won’t be talking about the big expensive nights you had on the town. You’ll be talking about the very first night when you spent 5 bucks on an impossible carnival game, laughed out loud, and had a great time together.

5. Stand out. A lot of times we like to play it safe, especially on first dates. The problem with that approach is that you don’t get a chance to let your personality shine through. If your date is just like everyone else, are you going to want to go out with them again? Probably not, or at least not for the right reasons. Don’t be afraid to be different. Act a little silly. Get just a little outside your comfort zone and show your date that you’re not just like everyone else they have dated.

6. Keep it simple and spontaneous. Don’t plan every single minute of your date. Know where you are going to go, but leave some room for spontaneity. You never know how a first date will turn out, so don’t restrict yourself into something just because you have already planned it all out.

7. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Lighten up. Don’t ramble on for 30 minutes about how much you hate this or hate that, even if that is your natural tendency. Laugh at yourself a little. Humility and humor go a long way on a first date, and in life in general.

8. Don’t be afraid to talk about things. It’s a first date, you’re feeling each other out, and you should try to get to know some things about the person. Don’t go straight into talking about marriage and kids, but definitely spend some time trying to understand each other. Feeling awkward about the first date? Talk about that! Anything to break the ice and spark additional conversation is good for both of you.

9. If you had a great time, let them know. One of the hardest things about a first date can be if you had a great time, but don’t know how the other person felt about it. So, if you had a great time, let them know! They might reciprocate, and they may not. They may even tell you they had a great time, but are just trying to be nice about it. It sucks, but it’s the truth. At the very least, you have let them know how you felt, and if the feeling really is mutual you’ll be going out again. Don’t make all the effort then leave it open for interpretation at the end. So excited that you want to start planning the next one? Make sure you do what you can to make the next date even better.

10. Be yourself. Above all the other advice, just be yourself. If you are a little silly, be a little silly. If you are quiet, be quiet. If you are funny, be funny. You get the picture. Don’t get too caught up in what you think your date wants you to be, just be who you are. A lot of times what we think is attractive to someone else really isn’t. Not to mention the fact that if your date does have a mutual attraction, at least you will know they are attracted to you.

First dates are a lot like job interviews. You get nervous, you worry about what kind of impression you are going to make, you get well groomed, you prepare in advance, and you may even practice in the mirror. But much like job interviews, people forget this key aspect of a first date…the other person needs to impress you just as much as you need to impress them. At any level it takes two people to have a relationship, so don’t sell yourself short. Dating can be frustrating, but not nearly as much as being with someone you are not compatible with…so make that first date count. Have fun, get to know each other, and make sure you end the night feeling confident that you showed the real you.